a final visit

on the dock by the swan

feet dangle over frigid river currents

an island adrift

amid smokestacks and umbrellas

darkens under skeletal branches

as the sun nears the ground

rusted memories are sunk here

and covered in a thin layer of fog

waiting for a day of revival

that will never arrive

across the water

lovers stroll

colors matching their breakfasts

and childhoods

and the church stands silent

its bells poised for the hour

when another passing

brings music to my ears

and silence to the air

four shoes with soiled laces

crossed

waiting for the wind

swing on the hinge

and stretch over the Spree

submerged in cold

soon to step in another place

carried by the wheels of clouds

leaving only a reflection in the ripples

of a Saturday afternoon

from the records, I miss him

17 Oktober 2009

Matthew has been here for almost five days now. He gets it and makes me get that I get it. He has been surprised by how romantic this city is and helped me realize how well I am doing here. The first day he was here, we laid on my bed together and smiled more than either of us knew we could. I poured my heart out in a poem like I've never had to do and he told me he wouldn't be able to stop looking at me. I assured him this was ok.

After doing the regulars--Turkish Markt, Alexanderplatz, Unter den Linden to the Tör, and the Holocaust memorial we tried some new things together. Namely Tiergarten which was spectacularly romantic and colorful. We let our hearts pull us and were blown away by the beautiful park.

Matthew loves biking, and Doner. We checked out the Hamburger Bahnhof, but it closed quickly: I WILL be going back. I was so glad Matthew could come to Weimar. I had no idea we were going to a concentration camp (ironically), but the frigid rainy afternoon left us both very "cold." Between this and both of our experiences with the other children here we thought about alot and I think only realized more how lucky we are: individually AND together. We haven't slept much, and when we got back from Weimar, we left three hours later at 2am for our 14 hour journey to Amsterdam. Obviously this is a place I want to visit, but that we are going here does have something do to with Matthew's IKEA print of an Amsterdam canal with a red bicycle.

Now I'm sitting on a train in the Netherlands, over eleven hours into our journey (first of many) together across Europe, looking into the eyes of the one I love and exchanging smiles--still a bit in disbelief of the amazing experience we are sharing. I don't understand the language here, so now I get to take a backseat--or at least share the passenger seat as we zoom across blue skied, sunny Netherlands toward our 19 hour visit to the city of canals and hashish.

the arrival

From the corner of my eye, a smile.

Tasting bitterly human,

you touch me like a signal from the past.

Comfort food.

Your breath descends to stillness

bringing my heart closer to yours.

Oh what sweet kiss,

wake me with your eyes.

A bird song and the sounding church

encourage our ecstasy.

Lips dancing like long lost lovers,

exploring the surface as if for the first time,

I wonder- Has a love ever been so perfect?

had a weekend with mom

...and I thought it would be a good time to do away with sleeping.

I also thought it would be a good time to put together my own 72 hour tour of Germany's capital city.

Start your weekend late Thursday night by going out with some friends to a party called Chantal's House of Shame. (Needless to say I thought of my good friend of Chantel.) Apparently the shame part is not optional either. By 4am it is time to rush to the Hauptbahnhof to pick up your mother. Get there a few minutes late and frantically look around the mostly deserted train station to no avail. 1800COLLECT will fail my but your credit card won't. Thanks Visa. After a quick chat with your father, learn that she missed her train and is getting in 4 hours later. Great. Now catch a couple hours of sleep. Oversleep. Eventually find your mother standing by the Starbucks in the station. (Some things never change.)

Now get ready for three fun filled and walking filled days. Start early Friday morning with a visit to the Turkish market (buy tasty cheese, produce, and homemade Bourbon whiskey), cover the former DDR capital all the way to Brandenburg gate, and make a stop at the Holocaust memorial and Hitler's bunker (these two should really always be done in conjunction...it's amazing to see how each space is memorialized so differently) End day one. Woof.

Day two takes us further east to see the East Side Gallery and Karl Marx Allee. Eventually work your way up to the shopping in Hackesher Markt of Mitte. When it starts to rain head home and make dinner.

Now it gets sticky. You really haven't been doing enough, so decide to go out. It IS Saturday night in Berlin. One thing leads to another and you end up at Berghain. Serious clubbing until 8am.

Wake up at 11 and spend the entire day walking. This time take the U-bahn to the Mauerpark flea market (eat cult favorites currywurst and döner kebap and catch great deals later in the afternoon), jump the S-bahn to Potzdamer Platz and grab a coffee or four in the Sony Center (your only stop in the far WEST), and walk the Reichstag government sector (some of the most beautiful contemporary river side architecture you will ever see). Topped the day off with a production at Berliner Ensemble (this Sunday: Mein Kampf, a satire from George Tabori).

Make sure you stay up until 3:30 before you take your mother back to the train station at 8am Monday morning.

Rinse. Wash. Repeat.