on Paris

It's been a week since I got back from Paris, and I'm finally coming to terms with my experience there. I am so glad I was able to just be while I was in the city. I didn't get caught up in the romanticism or really anything at all. Being away has made me realize how beautiful it is. The people are so confident and no nonsense. They are not overly romantic as we expect them to be because they haven't been fed the institution that is love and romance that Hallmark and stereotypical French characters have given to me. They say what is needed and let their eyes do the rest of the communicating. Sometimes laughing makes me insecure but I realize that to them, it is an expression of happiness. Nothing ironic there.

In fact irony is not something I experienced with French people unless they were making fun of or imitating Americans and their culture. There is something so earnest about the way they interact--with only what is necessary, very little embellishment. But then, Paris is absolutely overrun with tourists. As with any city I suppose, its sometimes difficult to know what is the city of tourists and what is the city of the people. In NY I took many a vacation to midtown but it wasn't until I moved into Union Square that I saw the tip of the iceberg of what is NYC. Luckily for me I had my amazing friends to lead me through this city (or at least for the past 3-4 months).

That didn't always mean that I new what I was ordering at a restaurant. I managed to get kidney two times. I really tried, but it just didn't quite meet my mouth's needs. Riding Velib' bikes up and down the hills of Paris by day and by night was truly fantastic and a great way to feel like you belong on the narrow streets and broad roundabouts. It is so nice to stumble on a courtyard or a fountain or an artists loft or a gallery in a historical space and be one of the only people around.

The Parisians have parks under control. They are the most beautiful combination of public space and coiffed elegance. Standing in a park in Paris I was in awe of the design and degree of control of nature but also of how comfortable people felt there. Just as in their home, they are invited to rearrange furniture and stroll down a corridor [of trees]. Just stay off the grass.

I most enjoyed walking down the older smaller streets of Paris, especially in Montmartre and the Fifth Arrondissement. But these are the areas that most tourists seek out in Paris as the "real city." They are prescribed by all the guidebooks as secret must see spots and as such have lost some sense of their charm and originality. But then I guess they still charmed me. I'm apt to resist acting like a tourist or really being one at all. I know that when I visit a city, that is my official title, but I seek something more authentic. I don't like to rush to the museums or most famous monuments, and I didn't do that here. I spent most of my time taking the heartbeat of the city and encountering a culture very different from my own--and just as valid.

Standing on the top of Montmartre, I realized how large Paris is. It would take me at least six months living there to really begin to understand it, and I don't claim to much at all from my short (though extended) five day stay.

What I do know is that Paris left a delicious aftertaste in my mouth...something like Cotes du Rhone. And I want to take that bottle in the bathtub with her and a cigarette and soak in everything she has to offer. Even if only for a short time.

feet rest under green metalic chairs

weary with the labors of discovery

of a city set in hills

doors opened and stairs unwound

in corners hidden from any map

we discovered a new path

with no trace remaining

but in negatives and our slippery memory

music swells all around

but I hear Paris

only in voices

her speaker is blown

never to be replaced

and only her people sing her song

it sounds of ambivalence

that only a child can see

from behind round spectacles.

It was only heard once or twice

and broadcast to the world

in a tongue too hard to shape.

Of love, I find no keys

only black and white

in majors and minors

struggling to strike a chord

but barely unlocking doors going backwards or downstairs

I face a wall

and a ticket

a meager end to an unplanned excursion