Saturday, January 2, 2010

strange but true


McCain/Palin bumperstickers...still
NO Government Healthcare lawn signs at uniformed DDS offices
Pink Juicy Couture velour track suits
Sarah Palin's book for sale at the airport
Shooting star at 430am
Friends with babies
Friends with wedding rings
Homophobia
Slavery

...merry christmas Alabama.

Love,
Christopher

Friday, December 25, 2009

tradition


Ours is a steak dinner with baked potatoes on Christmas Eve.
My German grandmother arrives to house slippers and a glass of wine (this time she brought her jug) and my aunt brings her kids, a 2 liter of ginger ale, and shi-shi (whipped cream).

It's actually amazing to watch how things change each year. Like my 11 year old cousin who is developing a sense of humor or 17 year cousin who runs a social commentary on every word pronounced in the room. Then there are the things that don't change. Like my aunt's adorable limited taste or my grandmother's youthful face. All of them are beautifully articulated by a holiday that for us means the one time in the year when we all get together to confront and love our family.

This year's highlight was when we passed a candle and "The Night Before Christmas" around the room for a festive reading (a tradition that comes from my dad's Michigan family). My grandmother got the longest page in the book and when her thick German accent arrived at the words "the moon on the breast of the new fallen snow..." she absolutely lost it and couldn't get over the snow having breasts. We exchanged gifts and soon everyone was on their way and my sister and I watched our parents fall asleep in front of the fire and a hilarious videotape of our very own production of "A Charlie Brown Christmas."

Now my parents have to wake US up on Christmas morning so that we can dig through our stockings and unwrap gifts, throwing the wrapping paper at the frisky cat across the room.

A delicious breakfast around the dining room table and a trip to the movies is just about all there is to do in Huntsville, but that's alright because

family is the reason for the season.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

back in switzerland

I miss...
the way people enter a cafe
dilapidated buildings
crazy communists
the smell of burning objects from the squats
weeds in the sidewalk
German boys
German girls
Dönner Kebap
graffiti that's street art
street art that's graffiti
sun seeking party zombies
the TV tower in the violet hour
fashionable retailers struggling to survive
my bike's squeaky brakes in the snow
churchbells from both directions on the hour
the walk to the subway station
saying Entschuldigung and Tchüss
sour faces and shouting vendors at the Turkish Markt
the beautiful children
underkept parks, dogs, and drinking laws
overkept buses, trams, and trains
dancing until dawn
sleeping until noon
Hefeweizen
smoking bars with soul music and angry trannies
recycling my bottles to pay for my groceries
being terrified of getting checked on the train
Weinachtsmarkt
being mistaken for a Deutsch-speaking German
giving tours
Frau Thietz
finding myself alone on a bridge
finding myself alone on a street
finding myself.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

the brothel

across the street
three men emerge from the wide door
two turn left
and one escapes behind a wheel
the only taste left of this life
lies behind a door with a bell
a sound that announces
the arrival of innocence
stolen
by the choice to indulge
in a fantasy between walls
and empty of eyes and hands and feet

Friday, December 18, 2009

snow


Winter has come to Berlin.
Waking up in the morning to the white glow of falling snow and laced bare trees is an absolute dream. The city is almost silent with its muffling layer of frosting as if the cold flakes powered down the roar of a city that cannot resist reveling in the bitter winter. Women's faces--old and young--are alight before the magical production of the drifting ice blossoms. Hatted inhabitants stick out their tongues for a taste of the strange sugar, and dogs emerge from the subway ahead of their owners to forge the storm and the biting air.

Outside, two children--rosy and golden--amaze in the white field while mothers with youngers look on and bounce to the beat of their own childish hearts--too near and too quick to forget. Boots caps and mittens are all that stand between us and our frozen drops, and the steam emerging from our warm lips twists and turns in the drafts, searching for someone to inhale it in a long kiss. Falling fast and small, the whole earth is covered like the thin surface of a delicious desert, waiting to be cracked and devoured.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

a final visit

on the dock by the swan
feet dangle over frigid river currents
an island adrift
amid smokestacks and umbrellas
darkens under skeletal branches
as the sun nears the ground
rusted memories are sunk here
and covered in a thin layer of fog
waiting for a day of revival
that will never arrive
across the water
lovers stroll
colors matching their breakfasts
and childhoods
and the church stands silent
its bells poised for the hour
when another passing
brings music to my ears
and silence to the air
four shoes with soiled laces
crossed
waiting for the wind
swing on the hinge
and stretch over the Spree
submerged in cold
soon to step in another place
carried by the wheels of clouds
leaving only a reflection in the ripples
of a Saturday afternoon

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

anti anti

This past weekend, a group of students from Köln (Cologne) visited us. We stayed in their city a month ago and the combined trips are part of a program to initiate a dialogue between these German students and us, the Americans. I wasn't able to participate in most of the weekend's activities, but on the final day I attended a lecture on anti-Americanism alongside these Köln University peers.

Our speaker was Ruth Hatlapa, who was introduced by one of our faculty and first spoke about a program she is currently involved with that combats anti-Semitism today in the Berlin neighborhood of Kreuzberg (where I live). She told us that today Jews are still attacked on the street or in the metro often with bystanders doing nothing to intervene. She spoke about Germany as a country of migrants--despite the fact that many Germans do NOT see their country this way--and described the obvious differences of a migrant to the holocaust versus a German. Apparently "Jew" is the most common curse word in the school system here, and accordingly, her program has been working with school children, especially of a migrant background, through education and activity based programming for seven years to help combat anti-Semitism.

At the conclusion of her brief talk about her current community work, she was met with fierce defensiveness and outright disagreement from the German students among us. They claimed that they had never heard of anti-Semitism in Germany today and asked if it was then only a problem in Berlin. They had not seen this information in the newspapers or on the TV and quickly dissolved her argument by claiming that German's were also discriminated against because German cars were burned in the streets. American students responded by calling everyone's attention to the fact that whether we are aware of these horrible acts of violence or hate, they do exist, as Hatlapa had just spent 20 minutes describing them to us. Some NYU students shared their own experiences such as being accused of being Jewish and laughed at on the subway in Belrin, despite having a Catholic-Hispanic background. I myself brought up becoming a target as a homosexual in Berlin on one occasion. I think nothing of this because I know that people who target me (whether in Berlin, Alabama, or New York) are nothing more than ignorant, uneducated people who are unfortunate to not have people opening their eyes to the importance of recognizing anything outside of themselves. I also questioned the ability of some of these German students to do the same thing.

While this became a topic of debate, our speaker went on to give her presentation on anti-Americanism. This is her dissertation--a work still in progress--and as she is German herself, I did not particularly feel that there was any justifiable bias for or against America, only a recognition of a particular phenomenon and what effect it is having on world relations.

Hatlapa recognizes that America is not homogenous, but she defines "Anti-Americanism" as against what America "is" (as opposed to "criticism" which is against what America does). Because of the over exaggeration of criticisms, often times Europeans (particularly Germans in her study) associate American public acts with the American people. They see war as an expression of American imperialistic habits. Thus they see our country and her people as "Barbaric" and "inauthentic." We are the most dangerous nation against the promotion of world peace. Americanism is becoming "The European language" the speaking of which is more and more considered "progressive."

A large shift has occurred with the changing of leadership in America as well. George W. Bush had a 12% approval rating in Germany and when he appeared to speak in Berlin in 2002, he was met with 20,000 protestors. Obama's German approval rating is 92% and he was cheered on by over 200,000 supporters when he spoke in Berlin in 2008. Many European's associate Obama's positive traits--more secular politics and progressivity for example--as European and therefor see him more as a European than as an American. They see his America as declining and weaker and would sooner invite him into their dining room than most of "those Americans."

As we politely applauded Hatlapa's lecture--which was full of more information, figures, and humor--not surprisingly, the first comment came from a German student and went something like this:

"That's all very interesting, but I'm sorry I don't agree with you. I think that's all just wrong."

Immediately the tension returned to the room and a fierce dialogue commenced in which German students wanted to know which newspapers and online sources she used for her facts and American students provided examples of their own anti-American experiences during this or past trips to Europe.

We all know that America is not homogenous, but until many Europeans meet an educated American and have a real conversation with them, they are quick to point many of the fingers Hatlapa described; often, even after this crucial conversation, they will consider you "different from Americans." I know, I've had this conversation more than once with people from more than one country. But then, I'm guilty of being anti-American as well. I admit that. I often roll my eyes at our Wal-Mart culture, democracy obsession, and football mania. I cite repeatedly that there is New York and then there is America. And in some regards, this is absolutely true. But I can't disqualify my country and contribute to this Anti-Americanism that only lessens our chances of connecting to anyone different from ourselves.

I think it is disappointing and ignorant of the German students--who we got to be friends with over our two weekends together--to react so violently to what they apparently considered an attack, but what was really just a prompt for discussion and self assessment. I'm provoked by the ideas of anti-Americanism and the often tense dynamics of American-European relations, especially in young people, but instead of denying what is obviously in the air, I have taken this opportunity to examine the way I think, have more critical conversations with the people in this city, and--most importantly--to learn more.